Lawsuit…Round 3 or 4?

Well, here goes round…..what is it now……3?  4?

I got served again.  Ryan’s attorney L somehow managed to have a hearing on January 17th without me being there.  Neither did I have any notice that there even was a hearing.  Court rules dictate that the “other side” is noticed of any hearing that’s going to take place regarding the case.  I was not noticed.  Neither was Mike.

Historically in this case the other side served Mike AND served me separately via the mail.  Procedures also dictate that I be served personally as I am not a party to the case.  The family law judge allowed them to serve me by mail.  Because I had filed a response.  Never mind that the first portion of my response was clear and lawful and proper objections to the improper service.

Anyway, a hearing was held on January 17th.  The issues?

  1. To put the matter back on calendar.
  2. The notice I filed, after the matters were taken off calendar, in the court advising all opposing parties that I am not a party to the action and cannot be served.
  3. Enforcement of the $100,000 insurance policy.
  4. Attorney fees
  5. Sanctions (fines) against me personally for not paying the 100k.
  6. Sale of my home.

So.  The judge in his black robe and all his glory which is not big enough to hide his stupidity ordered this:

  1. The matter IS back on calendar for February 14, 2008. (Nice. Valentine’s Day.  First the trial is on our wedding anniversary, then the hearing against Ryan is on his birthday and now this…I’m surprised they didn’t get this on calendar for Christmas Eve.)
  2. The notice I filed, the court claimed they didn’t have it.  Nevertheless, the judge ordered that vacated…removed from the record as if it didn’t happen.
  3. That I AM still joined to this case…though I never really was.  I was specially appearing on behalf of Mike…who couldn’t be there himself due to God calling him home.
  4. If I don’t show up at that the February hearing the court will issue a warrant for my arrest and I guess just hunt me down and toss me in jail.
  5. Pursuant to Attorney L’s request, the court ordered him allowed and Insanity’s attorney allowed to file a lis pendens on my house.  A lis pendens, if you’ve been following this case acts as a lien.  But bigger.  Basically it means if I sell my house I have to put $130,000 of that in a escrow trust account so the court can order me to pay that money to Ryan.  But I can’t sell the house because no one, absolutely no one buys a house when there’s a lis pendens filed against it.
    1. Insanity’s attorney had filed a lis pendens back in March.  I fought it and the court ordered it lifted.  So, the same idiot judge who ordered it lifted has ordered it filed again.
    2. The purpose of this lis pendens is to keep my house in litigation because Mike and I owned it before he died.  There is nothing else that has any value that would satisfy this insurance policy.
    3. The attorney’s are asking the court to force me to sell my house to give Ryan, that drug addict waste of flesh 19 year old punk who wouldn’t come see his dad when he was dying, $100,000 despite the fact that Mike doesn’t owe it.  I certainly don’t owe that kid anything.  He isn’t my son.

And now?  What am I thinking?  What am I feeling about this fiasco?  Well, to be honest, I cried upon reading that notice that came in the mail.  I cried because I’m sick of this.  I’m sick of them, the DNA and their lawyers.  In my heart of hearts I do not believe that Mike owes that $100,000 and it is my firm belief that the facts in this case prove that Mike doesn’t owe the money.  I will refuse to pay any sanctions against me because me acting as Mike’s proxy allows me every defense available to him as if he were alive.  Also, given that I am Mike’s executrix of his Last Will and Testament I am authorized under the probate laws to deny any claim against his estate that I don’t believe is valid.  Ironically though, my husband has been dead now for about 14 months yet we haven’t gone to probate court.  Though it seems rather moot since I can’t seem to get this case out of family court, there’s also this pesky statute of limitations in probate that says you have 4 months to file a creditor’s claim after a probate has been opened or 1 year from date of death.  That time has already passed.  But we’re not in probate court are we?  No, we’re in family circus (court).

All I want is peace. Yet that seems to be a vague notion of something in the far off distant.  I want to be left alone by these people yet I know now that they will never leave me alone.  I had hoped that perhaps they’d gained some clarity over this past year…that suing me won’t bring Mike back.  That they’d be better served just grieving the death of their son, my husband.  Hate is such a strong motivator though isn’t it?  And pain.  But everyone is in pain.  I know I have to be feeling Mike’s loss more than they are.  I also know they don’t care and that they’ve conjured up some silly notions and convinced themselves of these notions….mainly that I did not love Mike and that I had ulterior motives being married to him.  Such nonsense such rot.  That is what is in their hearts which has infected their small selfish and greedy minds.

I honestly want someone else to take this burden on for a while.  I’m tired of carrying it all alone.  Oh I know all the bible tracts that many may throw at me.  I know God is capable of carrying this burden and that I’m supposed to give it all to Him.  I know that.  And I believe it.  But reality is also something I know. God will not be arriving on a beautiful white cloud with angels harking our Lord’s arrival and the angels Michael and Gabriel providing security for him in court on February 14th.  No, the  reality is that I’ll be once again sitting in a courtroom looking at my loving, loyal and dedicated mother and father in-law and my drug-high, deceitful stepson while the lawyers convince the judge that I owe money—which I don’t have—to someone which I have no relation nor obligation.

Forcing me to sell my home and basically put me in a small one bedroom rat infested rented apartment won’t bring Mike back…though I think it might make them feel better.

Even though I want to quit, the court ordered that I can’t.

Where do I find the strength to gear up for another battle?  Another knock down drag out fight…a fight which is not my own?  Another fight…in 26 days.  On Valentine’s Day.  A day traditionally reserved for showing someone how much you love them.  How ironic.

I confess here and now that I am tired of this conflict.  No, I’m weary.  I’m standing at a crossroads right now.  And not an attractive crossroads.  They have worn me down.  They are winning this war of attrition.  I don’t have the anger and hate to fuel me like they do. I obviously have more grief than they do.  I want to look up and I want to look forward yet they insist on staying in the past and want to force me to stay there with them.  But I don’t want to.  Kicking and screaming I go back over 15 years.  15 years of litigation between Mike and Insanity while I was attacked and vilified in the court system.  And 15 months of Mike’s illness and death from pancreatic cancer.  Back, back, back to the worse days of my life.  With no end in sight.  Quitting is obviously not an option I am allowed to exercise.

Crossroads…..on one road I am on the precipice of lashing out at them.  To get mean, vicious and hurtful….to strike back.  To write a letter to all of them telling them exactly how Mike thought of them…to remind Mike’s parents on the promise they made to him, which was to be there for me. To put an ad in the Needles local paper telling everyone in their home town what they are doing. Or to just sell my house or take a second mortgage out and go into debt to just pay all the money these sharks, aka lawyers are insisting I pay.  Neither one is a pleasant option for me to explore.  Neither one will bring Mike back.  Nor will either option reduce the DNA’s hatred of me.

So instead of looking at a crossroads with lousy options, perhaps it’s best to just view this as my new reality.  I am nothing but a mindless hamster stuck on a revolving wheel in a cage.  I can run and run and run thinking I’m putting distance between me and the DNA and even Mike’s death….but in reality I’m going nowhere. I am stuck with them.  They are stuck with me though that’s a choice they make each day.  Each time they write a check for attorney fees.  Each time Ryan signs pleadings to sue me.  Each time they agree to go to court.

I am desperate for them to leave me alone.  Nevertheless, I am not so desperate yet to compromise my heart and what I believe to be the truth to give them what they want.  Will that time come?  Perhaps.  I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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