Well this is the eve of the big hearing tomorrow. But the slug fest as already started today.
BUT” he said, “I want you to remember you’re a lady. And I want you to not react to what you’re going to hear.”
I asked him what he meant. Rollin then went on to tell me that these two attorneys have been telling the judge over this past year that I was mean and abusive to “this tender child Ryan”; that it’s astounding that this child managed to survive the abuse by me over these past 15 years.
Furthermore I was mean, abusive and controlling to Mike and that I deliberately withheld treatment and deliberately stalled in taking Mike to the doctor because I wanted him to die.
I looked at Rollin who sat looking at me. There were a few beats of silence. I then asked, “what else?” Rollin said, “that’s all I’m going to tell you. Just know it’s going to be very ugly tomorrow and it’s going to hurt you. But under no circumstance are you going to react.”
Ok. But even if I was released from prison last year for murdering all the kindergarteners in my home town its irrelevant to the issues and facts before the court.
“Yeah well the judge is making it personal. And he’s decided that you are the antichrist.” Rollin told me.
Still irrelevant. But not before Judge Brian S.
I then gave Rollin the transcript from the hearing held in May wherein it was clearly defined that I was not joined as a party to the case, but agreed to represent Mike. I left the office while Rollin read it. Suddenly Rollin is bellowing for me. Rollin does not bellow.
So I went into his office and he threw the transcript on his desk and yelled, “that m**ther f****ing idiot judge did join you! You are a party to this case! And that’s what these two attorneys are basing everything on.”
Ok. I know that. By the way, they don’t bother serving Mike anymore, nor his estate, they only serve me.
“Yes, that’s because they aren’t even bothering pretending to sue Mike anymore they are obviously just going after you.” Rollin told me.
Uh duh. I’ve known that all along. Thanks for seeing the obvious.
So Rollin instructed me to contact Ryan’s attorney and ask that the matter be put on second call, 10:30 calendar. So I had another girl in the office do the calling. But Mickey L said no. He wouldn’t agree to that. I relayed that tidbit to Rollin who then said “uh, what? Why not?”
I didn’t know, but I did. I knew that the attorney wasn’t going to do a darn thing for me. So I gave him Lawson’s cell phone number and Rollin called Mickey directly. He told him, “look I was a close friend of Mike’s for 15 years, I’m doing this case pro bono (no charge) but I have a paying client at 8:30 in court and then I’ll shoot down the hill.”
I could hear the phone conversation and Mickey said “it doesn’t matter because the judge already told me that he’s going to rule against that devil woman Rose and that he’s going to order her to sell the house to pay the debt. Besides, Rose has been jerking the judge around for almost a year and he’s raw and very pissed at her so I’m not going to ask him to rearrange his calendar.”
In response to all that Rollin simply asked if Mickey had the phone number to the department. He would call and ask for the matter to be put on second call. Mickey gave a phone number. Rollin called it. That number was the private back line to the judge. Interesting that Mickey had that unpublished phone number. Rollin spoke with the judge who agreed to hear the matter at 10:00 or whenever Rollin got there.
Rollin called MIckey back and told him the matter was going to be heard at 10:00.
MIckey then said, “well I’m sorry you got yourself involved in this case, you’re not going to win any points with the judge by representing that woman.”
Rollin, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He got off the phone and told me that the judge agreed to continue the matter to 10:30a.m. But that he did insist that I be there at 8:30.
“To sit there.” Rollin told me.
Sit there? No one else will be there. My inlaws won’t be, Ryan won’t be, Insanity won’t be and their attorney’s won’t be. But I have to be there at 8:30?
Yup, as punishment.
What if I don’t?
“You’ll be arrested whenever you do show up. And the judge will hear the case without you” Rollin told me.
So here I sit. Fighting a fight that isn’t mine. Except it is because I married a man who died too young. But now the fight is mine and not Mike’s anymore. How did that happen? How did it end up that I’m joined to a divorce case fighting a woman that I did not marry and fighting a son that is not mine?
Odd how some things turn out isn’t it?
I have to admit here that I’m very worried. Scared almost. Of what I’m going to hear tomorrow. Well not so much the words but scared at my own emotional reaction to those words. Harsh words do hurt you know? Will I be able to sit in silence while I am verbally crucified? I hope so. I pray I will.
So tomorrow I’ll go to court. I’ll brace myself to see my loving, loyal and dedicated inlaws once again and Mike’s exwife and his son. And I’ll brace myself to hear that I’m a lowly human being who is worthless. And I’ll fight a fight that isn’t really mine but one that I cannot walk away from.
And I’ll try to remember that I married Mike for better or worse.
And I’ll try to hold up my head while I hold my tongue.
And I’ll try to keep from crying when I hear how mean and horrible I was to Mike in his dying days.
And I’ll try to remember that he loved me and I loved him and that was sufficient for a long, long time.