I woke up as is the norm for me…2:00 a.m. and stared at the ceiling.
I need to find a way to shut off the stupid thoughts that run through my head like a over powered steam engine!
I did tell myself ENOUGH of this! But I clearly didn’t hear myself as I’m feeling the anxiety in my stomach. I’m hating this. It is paralyzing. I have a constant headache which I might consider taking ibuprofen for except my stomach lurches at the thought.
I had a semi-epiphany this morning. I wonder if I’m still grieving the death of my husband even though its almost 6 years now. November 4th is the anniversary of his death and I’m wondering if that date is creeping up on me like a slow black oily ooze.
Could it be that the depression I’m feeling as something to do with that date? An anniversary of death? I don’t know.
Could it be that the depression and anxiety I’m feeling as to do with the extreme life changes that have occurred lately? Possibly.
Do I care what the source is? Not really except if I knew the why behind the anxiety then I can seek out the resolution and/or solution to it.
Is this residual grief I’m feeling? Could be.
Is this just reaction to life? Could be.