Solemn Anniversary-Misplaced

The path I see is far ahead,

I do not know when or where it ends.

In the sky there is no star;

To soothe my wound and let it mend;

I walk alone; all by myself,

With no companion by my side;

Into my heart, no one can go

To bring me home where I can hide—

Away from this pain and tears,

Away from words that pierce and bleed,

Away from the loneliness that is my creed

Away from all the fears and worries,

That steals my joy like hungry weeds;

But as I walked across the road,

An endearing dove flew down to me;

It landed there on my shoulder bold,

And memories it did bring to me:

The times when we were carefree,

The times when we were cancer free,

The times when we were planning life,

Away from all the struggles and strife,

The times when I thought all was fine—

The days unknown to which I was bound

To cry alone over this crime;

Of a life taken before its time.

Memories, I got them and shed more tears,

So I surrendered then, to all my grief;

Everything had been oh too brief;

So on and on, I traveled far

Into a world that is different now,

A world that I don’t belong in anyhow,

Into a world that has no hope.

My wounds might heal but never the scar,

Though I know down deep I’ll have to cope,

For now, the pain might seem too much,

That all I can manage is to roam,

And look for a place where I can hope,

I wish for eternity, that it won’t be such—

‘Cause I know someday I’ll be home.

…And home is where my heart is.

Until then I’ll just wait,

Until I see you again at the pearly gate. 

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.” ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

4 thoughts on “Solemn Anniversary-Misplaced

  1. Oh and I love your quote on the right there about kindness. Yes, a brilliant mind is all very nice and well, but a kind heart is infinitely more important and – I believe – even more powerful.


    • Isnt it? Thank you. I think you see it from my point of view, at least a little. I’d rather a kind heart soul in my life than a brillant mind that is cold hearted and disconnected from humanity.


  2. That’s so beautiful and sad. I know another woman who lost her husband when she was in her 30s. She has never been with another man since, and just lives each day as well as she can, confident that she will be re-united with her husband in heaven. She’s kind of found some happiness in that I think. She’s now 62. I have never experienced anything like it, and I can’t imagine it. But I do believe that we will all be re-united in heaven. I do.


    • I do too Tilda. I do. However, I know we can’t just sit in a chair and wait for that to happen. It will happen in its own time, when God designs…until then though the recovery, the getting on with life, the learning to hope again is the legacy that “survivors” have to figure out..have to learn again. Its a long life, sometimes it gets cut short, but sometimes its long…


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