Ashes to Ashes…Daily Prompt

(http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/11/05/daily-prompt-9/)
You have three hundred words to justify the existence of your favorite person, place, or thing.

When my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, we had to discuss “final arrangements.”  He elected to be cremated but he didn’t say what to do with his ashes.

A few months later, after Mike’s death, my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, like Mike she succumbed to the cancer.  She had pre-paid for a burial plot in her home state and my bother was in charge of those arrangements.  He was too lazy or just never got around to ordering the headstone, though mom had paid for that too.  So I had cremated and inherited her ashes.

I had an area in my rather large backyard that needed something done with it.  The rest of the yard was landscaped, this area was out of sight, tucked in a corner behind the house.

I decided it was time to deal with the ashes.  The souls were gone but we must respect the remains.  I got two  new white buckets just slightly larger than the urns.  I placed each urn in their own bucket, mixed up and poured quikset concrete into each bucket; completely covering the urns.

That done, I dug two holes in this secret hidden area placing each urn in their own freshly dug hole.  “From the earth we came so shall we return, ashes to ashes, dust to dust..”

I placed square walking stones over the area where the urns were buried.  Then planted bushes that Mike liked and have containers for my mom.

Now I have a quiet, peaceful area, out of sight of everyone where I can sit with those I have lost.

If I ever sell the house, I need to just lift up the stones, grab the handles from the buckets and mom and Mike come with me!

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6 thoughts on “Ashes to Ashes…Daily Prompt

  1. Amazing. Perfect. I don’t think there is ever a right way or wrong way to do this. You have to do what makes you happiest to remember the people who have gone before you. I think it is a beautiful space and truly lovely way to honor your husband and your mother.

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    • Thanks! I appreciate your comment. I guess that’s really what its about, right? If it makes me happy…not sure I was HAPPY per se, putting them in the ground…but I was comfortable with the decision. It doesn’t matter someone might think, if they didn’t like it. Its my house, my…uh…ashes? lol!

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    • Aww Thanks! So you don’t think its a little…weird? The area looks nice but still I wonder if some folks would find it somehow disrespectful or maybe even maudlin.

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      • I have to say that the idea of putting the urns in buckets with cement around them seemed strange to me at first. Why wouldn’t you leave the urns out in the garden somewhere? However, after thinking about it more, I think it is a great way to make the garden a personal place without announcing to everyone who sees it: “this is where I go to mourn my lost loved ones.” The area now becomes a beautiful place to use in many different ways, if you so choose, and the memory of your loved ones will always be there. It’s a much more beautiful place than a cemetery (in my opinion) and it is right in your back yard!

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      • Its a good question re: the urns. I hesitated myself for weeks before I relented and used the concrete. Why concrete? After all the urns, themselves are “decorative”. They are ashes which are very light. Where I live the wind blows constantly, it gets to 110 in the summer and snows in the winter, I have wild animals that sometimes find themselves in my yard…for the sake of keeping them intact I put the urns in concrete, then buckets. If one of my dogs knocked over the urn (even if I’d glued it shut) and got into the contents, I would be horrified.

        Yes, you’re right, it beats a cemetary the place never closes! lol

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