I was feeling slightly down today mixed with some restlessness and nonspecific anxiety. It’s all irrational and I know it but that doesn’t stop those feelings from swirling about.
So I had to leave the house. I contemplated that chore. Oh I don’t want to go out there!
Maybe I can replenish supplies tomorrow.
No, it needs to be today because the animals in the house that let me live with them were running low on food.
Ok, no help for it then I have to leave and go into “town”.
It was only 10 minutes into my errand when I remembered where my reluctance came from. People drive like sedated sheep! Really why are you driving 20 mph in 50 mph speed zone? Just to annoy me? Yes I think so.
Someone somewhere watches my house. They radio all the sedated sheep to get on the road because I am driving. All those people who have nothing better to do but clutter up the road in front of me apparently all have broken turn signals. Because they never use them! Those little ole blue haired ladies that stop in the middle of the intersection blocking all travel in any direction while she tries to decide which way to go, or maybe where she was going are a hazard!
There was strange sights all along my path. That guy wearing the funky Santa hat or the usual demented suspects. You can always recognize the insane by the inappropriate clothing they’ve thrown on to present to the world. When its 20 degrees outside or snowing it isn’t uncommon to see a few people in tee-shirt and shorts with flip-flops or no shoes. Then there’s the ones that its 110 outside and they are wearing parkas. I think they must be roasting in that coat! There are always a bunch of crazy looking people walking up and down the side of the road. I often see the same people over and over. They are always walking somewhere. I never see them arrive at their destination. Maybe there is no destination and they are just walking–keep moving and those nice young men in their clean white coats won’t catch you!
I arrived at the store without incident. Though it took 30 minutes to get there because of those sheep I mentioned earlier. There was once upon a time I could get to where I was going in 10 minutes. The population has either exploded or everyone is merely sedated and all go slooooowly.
In the back of my mind I was thinking–hoping–I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. The odds of that have diminished significantly over the past year. I don’t seem to know anyone much anymore, though I’m not exactly sure why that is. But I just didn’t feel like chatting. I look down the aisles in advance before going down it, looking for someone I might know and not want to talk to. Last time I was in the store was before Thanksgiving and I ran into three people I knew! What are the odds? 1,000,000 to 1? Especially given the time of day. It was mid-day everyone I used to know works so they should be at their jobs. What the heck are they doing at the store?! Drat! I don’t like making small talk in the store. I don’t like shopping you see, so I get in, pick up what I need and then get out! To lengthen the shopping experience with idle chatter just annoys me further.
As the gods would have it though, I was minding my own business when I heard my name called. Damnit! Who is that I wondered? I stood still, concentrating on whatever was on the shelf in front of me, I don’t remember, because I was busily concentrating on pretending to be deaf. Heard my name again called louder this time. Oh alright! I’ll look because obviously I’m not getting away without acknowledging the person. Oh its HER. I’ve known this woman for years and years, since when I first moved into this town. She looks like one of those homeless types but isn’t. She’s always got a doom and gloom cloud hanging over her head and is just not fun to talk with. But I did what I was suddenly obligated to do. Stopped in my tracks and talked with her. Well listened to her talk actually. I always let her talk for a while because I’m sifting through my sluggish brain cells and try to remember what her name is.
Ok, she went through her problems, she’s gotten a job–great! Where she works. I told her I never go into that store. Its Wal-Mart and those types of stores just don’t appeal to me. I think its possible to get lost or go broke in one of those stores that sells everything you could ever imagine needing, wanting or just having for the sake of having. No thanks. But at least I know where not to go if I want to avoid her in the future!
I went on my way trying to remember what else I needed that would make the trip more legitimate. Those bottles of alcohol in the shopping cart do not rise to the level of a legitimate shopping trip in my mind. Since the list was in my head and I know my memory isn’t as reliable as it used to be I find I have to go up and down the stupidly long aisles and glance at stuff, no don’t need that or that or that or that. I stop at the end of an aisle and search for the list in my head. Oh yes I remember I need that. Why must it be at the other side of the store where I already was? Just to give me more time in the store for more people to arrive that I might know. I consider saying forget it, do I really need that sour cream that bad? Hum….no I do not!
Eventually I got out of the store without running into anyone else, making a mental note of the hours of operation. Hum….6 a.m. open? Maybe I ought to try that next time.
One creepy guy that look like a reject as a Santa’s helper was behind me as I was walking out the door. I glanced at him and he was staring at me with a frown. Oh boy. Let me run through my head on all the safety tips I’ve read to avoid some mishap occurring, theft, harassment, assault, etc., all possible. Even in broad daylight. I’m not a scardy cat by any means. I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with something of that nature.
This guy followed me all the way out of the store to my vehicle. He could be parked near me except I parked as far away from the store as possible and there were no other vehicles near mine. Maybe he was just walking in the general direction I was. Either way it annoyed me. I wanted to turn to him and say STOP IT! I didn’t though because just as I was unlocking my truck he veered off in another direction. Phew! That’s one assault avoided! I still looked around for him or others when I returned the cart. Last thing I was in the mood for was to be startled by some creepy guy that was lurking between cars.
Thankfully I won’t have to do THAT again for a week, maybe even two!