Don’t Ask Me That! Plead the Fifth

Lady with long hair, by E. T. Brigham

Lady with long hair, by E. T. Brigham (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Daily Prompt–What question do you hate to be asked? Why?

My first thought in reaction to this prompt was: I don’t hate being asked anything.  I know I possess the ability to not answer a question.  Like the phone ringing…just because it’s ringing does not mean I have to answer it.  Just because someone asks me a question does not mean I have to answer it.

When a person asks me something that I find invasive, nosy, and rude or any number of other obnoxious possibilities I just look at them.  I don’t answer.  I don’t explain that I’m not going to answer I just look at them until they get the point and move on.  If they ask me again, they get the same response from me.  Crickets and a steady gaze.

That’s my usual practice regarding questions I don’t like being asked.  However, I realized there is ONE exception to that SOP.  An exception that has materialized based on my own actions.

This past April I decided it was time to cut my hair.  Not a big thing for most people except my hair was very longlong_hair

I can recite many occasions when I was standing in a line to purchase something and a random stranger would TELL me, “you should cut your hair…”   Uh ok, thanks.  I should!  Cut!  My! Hair!  I will when I feel like it; certainly not because someone I do not know and will never see again tells me I should.

So many times I had people tell me to cut my hair and donate it.  Alternatively I had people tell me NOT to cut my hair.

Why is my hair the idiotic conversational piece so often?  I can only guess that it was, only and because, so long.  I mean really long—way past my hips!  Ok, its long I get it.  I’m a Chia Pet, ok?  My hair grows.  Add water, some cheap shampoo and get another inch of hair—that’s me!

I woke early on my birthday in April and looked at myself in the mirror.  The lighting is horrible fluorescents, who looks good in THAT sort of lighting anyway?  My hair was all over the place and it was my birthday so I made an impromptu decision.  Today I am going to cut my hair!  Off or at least shorter; a lot shorter because I was done with it.

My daughter had been telling me for a few years to cut it.  “At least get it styled.”  She’d tell me.

Hey!  Long hair IS a style! Right?

I made an appointment that day and kept it.  I cut my hair.  46 inches whacked off!  It was time or my mother’s words came back to me…”once you reach a certain age you shouldn’t have long hair.”  Or some such nonsense.

It actually took two appointments to cut my hair as it was very long as I stated and it is also very thick.  But I did it.


What is the question I HATE being asked?



Why?  Because I find that question to be invasive, insensitive and maybe even obnoxious to a certain degree.  I also find it prying.  I think it’s none of anyone’s business what I did with my stupid hair!

I did expect a reaction from people; after all they’d only known me with long hair.  However, I have cut my hair from long to short in the past whenever the whim hit me.  One time I went from waist length hair to it so short it was above my ears.

I anticipated that it would even be shocking for some; especially from those women who have short hair but always coveted and desired long hair however were unable to grow it long for whatever reason.  It isn’t fun to have random people ask if they could touch your hair.  People playing with it as if it wasn’t attached to my person; certainly it was hugely annoying to have to tell people, can you move your arm you’re on my hair; or having the hair inadvertently draping on people, having it get caught in the car window, the car door, having to use an extra-large towel to wrap it after a shower…yes it was that long!  Having long hair isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I have been asked, did you donate it, no less than probably 40 times in the past few months.  Whenever someone I know first sees me, if they even notice I cut my hair, they always ask, did you donate it?

It is hugely annoying to me.

Primarily, the “donate it” thing is to an organization called Locks of Love.


Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada under age 21 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. We meet a unique need for children by using donated hair to create the highest quality hair prosthetics. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair due to a medical condition called alopecia areata, which has no known cause or cure. The prostheses we provide help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence, enabling them to face the world and their peers.locks of love

Our mission is to return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics to financially disadvantaged children. The children receive hair prostheses free of charge or on a sliding scale, based on financial need.

I am personally aware of Locks of Love having dealt with cancer in my life a few times, my husband and my mother and some friends having lost their battle.  If I was going to cut my hair why wouldn’t I donate it?

When someone asks me, did you donate it?  My sarcasm wants to kick in and I want to say, heck no!  I have the pony tail hanging from my rear view mirror in my truck.  Or…I made a few key chains out of the hair, you want one?  Donate it?  Nope, I gave the hair to the birds outside so they could make some sturdy nests in my backyard.   It’s windy here you  know!  But I say none of those things.  I just answer.

Yes!  I donated it!!!!  Ok?  I donated it!  I was able to donate it simply because I have never dyed my hair.

But don’t ask me if I did!  I don’t think it is something to brag about.  I didn’t grow it with the intention of donating it as some generous people do.  I didn’t take photos of it getting cut.  I didn’t save any of the hair as a weird trophy of some sort.  I just cut it and donated it.  That’s all, nothing more, nothing less.



3 thoughts on “Don’t Ask Me That! Plead the Fifth

  1. I love this post!!! Absolutely positively! I love long hair and until I lost it was waist length and curly and I adored it. And I resented it when people told me I should cut it…Why did the sheer length of it offend them on some sub-level. Were they afraid that I would pull a lady Godiva in the middle of aisle 12? Love this post and you should be able to do with your hair whatever you wish!!!


  2. Love this post. Those people that are exclaiming about donating your hair… why don’t they donate theirs? Last year i cut off 20 inches and i donated it but i didn’t grow my hair for the intent to donate. I was broke and could never bring myself to spend the 40-60 bucks for something superficial. I didn’t even go to the salon. I had the hubby snip off a pony tail. Once i cut it all i had to pay was a postage stamp. Really what are we going to do with hair? Nothing. I’m not just going to trash it when my hair has never been dyed or treated. Recycle!

    My hair grew back and I’m finding it tedious to manage so I’m about to get out the scissors again and I asked the hubby after the holidays to snip it off again. Secretly, i’m waiting to after Christmas to see if i win a work contest. THey have raffle and a few people picked will be gifted a present, we got to write down what we wanted and I wrote a salon makeover lol.


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