I’ve suffered from bouts of insomnia before so I’m no stranger to long nights spent staring at the ceiling or wandering the rooms of my house. But I can usually identify what the cause is of this inability to sleep. Its hit me again…the absence of the sandman. I haven’t been able to sleep well in weeks. But I have been awake since..well..a while. Sleep is really the only true escape we have from life’s trials and tribulations. When sleep evades me as it often does lately, I get annoyed. I’m robbed from respite of worry.
So I wonder and I think and I worry and I am awake when all I want to be is asleep.
I never ever nap during the day because that will ensure that I don’t sleep at night.
I remember a time when my family was whole, when I wasn’t a widow and life wasn’t so bad when I would be awake while the rest of the world slumbered. I didn’t mind my sleepless nights then. I enjoyed the idea of being awake, watchful, mindful, while the rest of the world slept unaware.
Now? Its nothing less than torture sometimes to be awake while everyone sleeps.